


In the End

by stardustsroses



Category: The Folk of the Air - Holly Black
Genre: F/M, cardan's pov, he's my sad boy who needs his wife asap ok, i might have shed a tear or two so be aware, just a heads up this is angsty as hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-24 04:17:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17697503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustsroses/pseuds/stardustsroses
Summary: post-the wicked king. | Cardan re-thinks all the moments that led to him betraying Jude, and the regrets he had along the way. | contains spoilers for the wicked king.





	In the End

Cardan  
after  
The High Queen of Elfhame wakes him slowly, like time has no meaning for her.  
She wakes him up with a thousand, a million kisses.  
The High King of Elfhame has no defenses against her lips, against her touch. Nor does he try to put his shield to the test. Not with her.  
Not anymore.  
He wonders if he knows what her eyes do to his heart. He briefly contemplates her, staring up at him with big brown eyes, as cunning as they come, as tender as they can get, then wonders if she is aware that he can hardly breathe. Wonders if there is any part of her that smiles at seeing him like this, completely, undoubtedly, stupidly at her mercy.  
He is done for the moment she climbs over his body, touching her lips to his.  
All of the world’s softness is in that kiss, in that touch on his cheeks, on his neck, over his bare chest. He manages to whisper her name when she pulls away, only briefly, to look down at him. And says nothing else.  
He cannot. The High King of Elfhame is frozen in place, terrified and so desperate. That fear settles at the pit of his stomach, making his body his home, like her lips make his neck their own land – free to explore, free to mark, however and wherever Her Majesty wishes.  
“End this already,” he breathes, voice barely above a whisper.  
There are bells ringing somewhere far away, and he cannot place exactly where nor understand exactly why. But her soft laughter, a rasp of a sound, dauntingly beautiful, pushes every other insignificant thing away from his mind.  
And then her voice, a dream turned into a nightmare, “No.”  
Her lips touch his again, and gone is that softness from before. It’s harsh and desperate and demanding. It is a war of a kiss.  
She pulls at his lower lip, makes it bleed.  
And yet that laughter of hers, taken away and out the window by the light Spring breeze, still rings in his ears. That phantom sound still clouding his mind, feeling it up with smoke.  
“Jude,” he groans, attempting to touch her.  
“No,” she says again, and digs her nails on his arms, keeping him still, drawing blood.  
“Get out of my head,” he whispers to himself. “Get out of my heart.”  
“No,” she leaves his arms alone to touch his cheeks, rubbing a gentle thumb over his bottom lip, staring at the blood she drew. “I will never.”  
“Is this your revenge?” He demands, taking her waist in his hands, squeezing when she tries to leave him again. “Is this your way to pay me back? Give me a taste of my own medicine?”  
Jude smiles.  
A dream turned nightmare, indeed.  
“No, my King,” she says, soft and true. “When I take my revenge on you – you will know.”  
The King rests his forehead on her soft shoulder, the skin gentle, covered in her scent. Lilacs. Cinnamon. Odd combinations of smells that he could never quite place and has always loved. Craved.  
“I did it for you.”  
“You did it for yourself,” she says, letting her hand drag upwards, towards the back of his head. Her fingers close over the thick strands there. “Didn’t you, Cardan?”  
“No.”  
“Yes,” she says, so close to his lips now. “Yes, you did.”  
Her hands on his cheeks pull him away, so she can stare at him. Her eyes trace his, and that strange smile spreads onto her lips once more. “Only in dreams and nightmares can you lie to me.”  
“Please, Jude.”  
“Find me,” she says, licking her lips.   
“I can’t leave my kingdom.”  
“Then I’ll find you,” she says, cocking her head to the side. “I wonder which one I’ll enjoy most – carving your heart out, or letting it rot on its own.”  
His frown must have amused her, for she laughed again, as she leaned over him. Dragging her lips from his lips to his ear, she murmurs, “Do you miss me, King Cardan?”  
“Stop.”  
“Do you keep playing those memories in your head?” She says, tormenting, right by his ear. “Do you remember, Cardan? Do you remember how I kissed you? How you undressed me? How I touched you? Do my words still haunt you?”  
“Jude,” he pulls her away, or tries to. But she is everywhere. “No-“  
“If I do not kill your heart, my King,” she says, lips at his neck now. Biting, licking. Each stroke of her tongue sending him down, down and further down into a dark well he has no way of getting out of, “then you will kill it on your own.”  
“I love you.”  
A ragged whisper, something hidden so deep inside his chest he has to dig miles and miles to retrieve it. A feeling hidden by thorns, shielded by blades. And now free at last for her to finally hear.  
Jude pulls away. Looks down at him.  
She kisses his forehead gently. Says, so slowly, “Sweet dreams, my sweet King.”  
And she’s vanished.  
When he opens his eyes, twinkling lights greet him. Not soft lips or dangerous eyes. The lights of his bedroom, the silk of his sheets – not her.  
Cardan gulps down a whole glass of water, keeping silent. He replays her words in his head, her motions. Strange words that were a product of strange dreams, and yet-  
If I do not kill your heart, then you will kill it on your own.  
She has been gone for a whole month, and the dreams – nightmares – have yet to stop. Cardan sees her every night, and every night she torments him, has her hand tightly wrapped around his heart, squeezing, until he can no longer withstand it. Some nights are better than others.  
Tonight, was the worst one yet.  
Some nights he wakes and still feels her lips to his cheek, feels his heart clenching, missing and missing and missing her so furiously it almost feels like he might die, indeed. Those nights he wishes he could sleep forever. Just to hear her. Just to stop feeling so much regret. Other nights, Cardan wishes she had never been born.  
Tonight, is one of those nights.  
He’s angry at her, and angry at himself. Angry that he is not strong enough to silence his heart. Angry that he feels as if he is dying the more time passes, the longer she is gone.   
The High King of Elfhame lets his head fall in his hands.  
The only sound is the wind, and that eventually stops too. Leaving him utterly, completely alone.  
***  
before   
The day he found the letter was the same day he woke up with her in his arms.  
It had been unexpected, as all their moments are. Unplanned, unpredictable. And yet the night before, he’d been entranced by her, as he always was, watching her with heavy eyelids and pursed lips. It was the first time he tasted her after she returned from the sea.  
The moment he’d pulled her to an empty corridor, Jude had not thrown any threats his way. Not at all. She’d kissed him just as fervently.  
And as she did, as her back ached between him and the wall, as she breathed against his lips, and let out a small gasp when his hands snaked over her body, he was reminded of a previous time, of previous words.  
“I did it for the same reason that you did. To get it out of my system.”  
“And is it? Out of your system?”  
“Yes.”  
He’d known it then that she’d lied to him.  
And when she kissed him again – he was sure of it.  
Without any doubts in mind, as she pulled him to her bedroom. As they laid on the bed. As Jude took her time watching his face from below him as she undressed him.  
He’d called her beautiful when it was his turn, lips following his hands, and his Jude had blushed a shade of scarlet he’d never seen before, from her breasts to the ends of her forehead. She’d looked bothered, even, not knowing how to respond to it. But Cardan had saved her from responding by gluing his lips to her body, and making her say other things.  
Curled up against him the next morning, Jude had suddenly shifted. Turned. He’d kept his eyes closed, pretending to sleep, while she stared at him as if she was only realizing what had happened.   
Slowly, as if that could prevent him from feeling her leave, she moved off the bed. Dressed quickly, her back to him. He opened his eyes only once to see her stare out the window as she buttoned her dress, her eyes wide and mouth parted, like she could not believe herself and the things they had done.  
Jude had left without one look at him, maybe because she couldn’t bear it.  
Sometimes Cardan couldn’t bear looking at her, either. He was a house of cards, and her a harsh wind, threatening to knock him down if he lost control.  
But they both had. They both lost control.  
He’d stayed a while longer, wanting to keep clutching at her scent for as long as he could. It was a poison he got addicted to, even if it slowly, tortuously killed him.  
When he’d made his way to his own room – or what had once been his father’s rooms – the first thing he’d laid eyes upon was a letter.  
No name. Nothing.  
But Cardan knew instantly, without even touching the letter. He knew he was the one supposed to open it. He knew it was from Orlagh. And he knew it was another threat. Though this time, it was directed not just at him, not at Jude, but at his whole kingdom.  
All in the span of a second, he understood it all. His blood chilled, his breath got caught in his throat, and there was only one face he thought of. One voice and one gaze.  
All in the span of a second, the King of Elfhame knew what he had to do.  
***  
In the same day, Cardan met her at the edge of his territory.   
The trees blew in the wind, the branches stark black against the dark blue night sky. The leaves rattled, as if bothered by his presence. The very ground beneath his feet did not feel safe. It shook, the earth growling. Beyond the thick line of trees, Cardan knew the mortal world stood and beckoned, strange and terrifying and absolutely fascinating to him.  
He did not move an inch, and just waited.  
When she arrived, she was dressed in the same strange and fascinating clothes he’d only seen from time to time. He was pressed for time, they both were, so Cardan said, “I trust you to keep a secret.”  
And Vivianne said, “What is this about? Why have you summoned me here?”  
It was a risk that he was taking, slipping out like this right underneath Jude’s nose. The sort of risk that would stop her from trusting him, that would make her give him specific orders to stay and stop, and he would be forced to obey her. Then it all would go to hell – then his plan would not work.  
So Cardan told Vivianne. He told her of the letter he received, of the threat, of the plans in his mind.  
She had shaken her head at him, arms crossed, eyebrows raised. “I don’t know what to make of you, Cardan.”  
“She will come,” Cardan had said. “Any day now. Whatever leverage I will have after I take Nicasia hostage will not last long, Viviane. Orlagh is clever, too clever. She will be manipulated once, but not twice.”  
Vivianne stared at him long and hard, and then she said, in barely a whisper, “She will despise you. More than she ever did.”  
“I am willing to pay that price.”  
“But why?” She asked him, yellow eyes flashing. “Why have you asked me to protect her in the first place? And go through all that trouble just to make her leave? Even if a war is coming-“  
The girl suddenly stopped, her mouth hanging open. There was a shocked pause, in which Vivianne stared him down, realization hitting her. “You really do love her.”  
Cardan’s stomach turned at the words – at the vulnerability he felt. The petrifying fear. And still, he made himself breathe, he made himself say, “Will you do as I am telling you?”  
“To keep her safe, yes,” Vivianne frowned. “But are you certain you want to do this? You will ruin it – everything. Whatever it is that you grew with her in the last few months will be dead after you betray her like this.”  
Something like regret and guilt formed at the pit of his stomach, a rope of steel tied at his throat, stopping him from breathing.  
“You will not tell her my reasons,” Cardan said. “You will not reveal anything to her. Let her be furious. Let her think I did betray her, Vivianne. It is the only way.”  
Vivianne sucked in a sharp breath. “And Taryn?”  
Cardan shook his head. “Your sister is no fool. And Locke will protect her. Whatever you might think of him, that much I can assure you. He is every bit despicable as I am, but he will not leave Taryn behind. Locke will protect her with his life.”  
“I will still tell her to come,” Vivianne said. “That’s the difference between Taryn and Jude: Taryn will run if you ask her to. But Jude-“  
Vivianne stopped herself short, sighing loudly, but Cardan heard the words anyway – But Jude is reckless. Jude is ambitious. And Jude will come back. If you do not hurt her, she will come back, and she will put herself in danger. If not for the crown – then for you.  
He will not have that.  
“I’m still not sure Taryn will follow me,” Viviane said. “But you have my word when it comes to Jude.”  
“Feed her anger.” The words cut through his chest, falling out of his mouth only because he forced them to. “If you have to.”  
Make her think every terrible thing is true.   
Vivianne nodded her head. “Thank you, Cardan.”  
He watched her turn away, but then she stopped before cut through the thick black trees. She looked at him over her shoulder, before saying, “You’ve changed.”  
“You are mistaken,” he responded, walking away. “I have not changed at all.”  
***  
after  
“Deny it then. Deny me!”  
The High King of Elfhame stares at the new land he brought up from the depths of the earth. The Isle of Ash, he called it. He thinks of his Queen, in a land of mortals, so far away from him. He thinks of his heart that she unknowingly took with her.  
Jude had made it easier, so much easier. Killing Belekin had been the perfect excuse to send her away, the perfect ruse. It had all worked out the way he had wanted to.   
Regrettably.  
He twirls a small, teeny tiny flower in his hand, and looks up at the sea surrounding his isles. A sea so deep, capable of swallowing the world whole. Even in darkness, the dark blue water seems to glow as if the sun shone directly onto it, the sheen spreading for miles and miles and miles, until he lost sight of it.  
He thinks of Jude, trapped there. He thinks of the panic he’d felt, when she’d been taken from him. And somehow – somehow – remembering that feeling makes the regret and the guilt and the unbearable sadness tone down, if only just for a little while. He’d rather have her away from him than have something like that happen to her again.  
He would never be able to erase the image of her eyes when she’d climbed out of the sea. That rich colour of hers drowned away from her irises, her eyes wide and afraid.  
Never again.  
Not for as long as he lives.  
Cardan wonders if there had ever been a second, during those hours they’d lay there on that bed, trading kisses in the darkness, in which Jude believed it had been more than she thought. His vows, her ring returned to her finger. He wonders if, for only just a scarce moment, if there could have been the chance of her feeling like it was more than just another alliance.  
He almost wants to beg those invisible higher powers, whoever or whatever they might be, to make her realize that it was not just an alliance to him.  
Yes, it had been necessary. He had needed her to release him from his bond, so he could exile her. He had needed her hand in marriage for it. He had needed her to believe.  
But gods, when he’d leaned down and kissed the scar of her palm, Cardan had felt like that had been his place all along – beside her. And it had been so difficult to part with her.  
Understand, dear Jude.  
I am sorry I did not realize it sooner.  
How many hours did he waste resenting her when he could have been bathing her in kisses?  
In the end, does it even matter? Does it matter that his heart had changed? That it called out to her?  
The High King hangs his head, sighs deeply. Then looks up to the night sky, and hopes it is the same sky she is staring at right now.  
With a small sniff, he crushes the small, teeny tiny flower in his hand, letting the petals fall, the drop impossibly high. He watches them slowly drift with the wind, just to softly sit at a plush rose bush, kissing the leaves.  
If only falling in love were like that.   
Before turning away, Cardan Greenbriar stares at the too-still sea. Queen Orlagh is growing her army. And so, he must prepare his.  
He is readying himself for another night of her tormenting his mind, when Cardan hears it.  
Low and steady, yet urgent, desperate. But he would recognize it anywhere – that heartbeat.  
He can almost recognize those footsteps.  
He can almost differentiate the way she breathes.  
He stares at the door, unblinking, not believing it himself.  
He hears his guards stand taller, voices coming from outside:  
“Stop. Do not take another step-“  
“Sleep.”  
A murmur.  
And then it all happens so fast.  
Jude barges through his door, and the sound of two bodies colliding with the floor. Her face is cloaked in shadows, but the gleam in her eyes as she stares up at him makes him stop dead in his tracks.  
She carries with her a sword, gloves and a pouch covered with pink powder, which she closes and places it back in her satchel.   
Sleep dust.  
“Jude,” he murmurs, feeling like he might be truly dreaming.  
She steps out of the shadows, his door falling closed behind her.  
Her eyes flash to him. Beautiful, terrifying. Fascinating.  
Her hand goes to her sword. Her voice cuts him. “Hello, husband.”

To be continued…

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, hi. Missed ya, guys.
> 
> So I just had to add an extra topping of angst, didn’t I? Tsk, tsk.  
> I know this leaves a lot of questions, so I’m planning to write a part two for these stubborn children to finally communicate their feelings and stop being assholes to each other. Deal? Deal.
> 
> Tell me your thoughts! Please do ignore any silly typos if you find them, and as always thank you all for being the loveliest readers on the planet!
> 
> Love, Bruna. <3


End file.
